sexta-feira, 17 de junho de 2011

O telefonema...

Um homem liga para casa depois de mais um dia de trabalho para saber
o que é o jantar.

- Estou? - diz uma vozinha de criança.
- Olá, querida, é o Papá.
- A Mamã está perto do telefone?
- Não, Papá. Ela está lá em cima no quarto com o tio Nando.

Depois de alguns segundos, o tipo diz:

- Mas querida, não tens nenhum tio chamado Nando!!
- Tenho sim! E ele está lá em cima no quarto com a Mamã.
- Está bem, então. Quero que faças o seguinte: Sobe a correr as
escadas, bate na porta do quarto e grita para a Mamã e para o
tio Nando que o meu carro acabou de parar em frente a casa.
- Está bem, Papá.

Alguns minutos depois, volta a miúda:

- Bem, eu fiz o que me disseste, Papá.
- E então?
- Bem, a Mamã pulou da cama nua e começou a correr pelo quarto a
gritar, tropeçou no tapete e caiu pelas escadas abaixo...
- Oh, meu Deus! E o Tio Nando???
- Ele saltou da cama nu e estava muito assustado. Então pulou pela
janela do fundo para dentro da piscina, mas ele deve ter-se esquecido que
tinhas esvaziado a piscina na semana passada para limpar, e  bateu
com a cabeça no fundo da piscina, e não me parece estar nada bem...

Uma longa pausa e o homem diz:

- Piscina ??? Por acaso o telefone daí é 35550739?
- Não.
- Tu não és a Vanessinha?
- Não.
- Ah! Desculpa, foi engano...






"Vê lá se verificas o numero antes de ligar"

Anedota da Semana

Um elefante vê uma cobra pela primeira vez.

Muito intrigado, pergunta:
- Como é que fazes para te deslocar? Não tens patas!...
- É muito simples - responde a cobra - rastejo, o que me permite avançar.
- Ah... E como é que fazes para te reproduzires? Não tens tomates!...
- É muito simples - responde a cobra já irritada - ponho ovos.
- Ah... E como é que fazes para comer? Não tens mãos nem tromba para levar a comida  à boca!...
- Não preciso! Abro a boca assim, bem aberta, e com a minha enorme garganta engulo a minha presa directamente.
- Ah... Ok! Ok! Então, resumindo... Rastejas, não tens tomates e só tens garganta... *És Deputado de que partido*?

National Geographic 2009






















quinta-feira, 16 de junho de 2011

Rihanna










Born This Way

It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
'Cause you were born this way, baby

My mama told me when I was young
We are all born superstars
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir

"There's nothin' wrong with lovin' who you are"
She said, "'cause he made you perfect, babe"
"So hold your head up, girl and you'll go far
Listen to me when I say"

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Ooo, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way

Ooo, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be!

Give yourself prudence
And love your friends
Subway kid, rejoice your truth

In the religion of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth

A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital H-I-M (hey, hey, hey)
I love my life, I love this record and
Mi amore vole fe yah (love needs faith)

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Ooo, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way

Ooo, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're Lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause baby, you were born this way

No matter gay, straight or bi
Lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to survive
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to be brave

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Ooo, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way

Ooo, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

I was born this way, hey!
I was born this way, hey!
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, hey!

I was born this way, hey!
I was born this way, hey!
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, hey!

Lady Gaga